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Saturday, May 29, 2010

On Acceptance

Have you ever found yourself in a situation that you don't want to be in? Have you ever told yourself that what you are doing, where you are right now, is still not enough? Have you ever felt so left out by the pack, that you are not progressing as fast as you want to?

I am not enough! 

Well, I have. Every single day of my life, I have this epic battle with myself. I have to constantly block my inner me, my "kid me," who keeps on telling me that I can never be enough. No matter how hard I try, it still isn't enough. No matter how little much I have changed, it still is not enough.

It sucks you know? And I know that I am not alone on this. I have watched too many Oprah and Tyra Shows to know that this feeling and way of thinking is very prevalent to most teens, and even most adults worldwide.

God's Love Messages

You know what keeps me going? Whenever I find myself in the darkest pit of my mind, I get this timely messages from God. Somehow, He communicates to me His love and assurance -- whether through my friends, some random TV show, or quotation from a book. Most of the time, though, I get these "love messages" from God through GodWhispers.

GodWhispers are "very short, sometimes humorous, sometimes serious, but always insightful personal message from God" e-mailed to me regularly (for being a member of Bro. Bo's Truly Rich Club).

My Little Green Itch

Just this past few days, I have been feeling a little "emo-ish" because I feel like I am not making the most of my time. Being a fresh graduate, I wanted to land that first job as soon as possible. But, for those who know me, I go through things a little differently. I tend to over-analyze things that most of the time, the opportunity had gone by.
Most of my batchmates are now already employed and I am feeling a little dejected because I still am stuck in the house. Not that I am a total bum. I do have two writing gigs that pays well. BUT, (guess it, come on) it still isn't enough! Not when my mother will undergo an operation this early June. Not with all the bills (from way back) that need to be paid. Not with the loss of financial support from my father. Because now, I am an adult. I earned my degree. I have to support myself. No excuses!

 God Never Fails

The weird thing is that whenever I am in this "dejected moods," I receive my GodWhispers. And just this night, I got another. It says:

          Dear Joanne Christine

          Wherever you are now is exactly where I want you to be.  Every delay. Every
          postponement. Every obstacle. So wherever you are, be there. Embrace each
          difficult moment and the hidden blessing that it gives you.

          Always here,

          P.S. And then, move on, Joanne Christine. We have worlds to conquer.

Is it unwise and silly to believe in this? Maybe for some, it is. Maybe they'll even say that I am just looking for a "justification" for my situation. Heck! Even I have said that.
But here's what I realized from my experience so far. God never fails. Sometimes, we do not understand why things happen, but in the long run, we benefit from that. So yeah, I know that I am where God wants me to be. It may be hard to accept but I am where He wants me to be.

If I look at it on a different perspective, this is an opportune moment because I can take care of my mom  once she had her operation. It is a blessing that I found my two writing gigs, giving me an opportunity to earn money while I am staying at home. 

When Lyf Throws U Lessons

So, if you find yourself in these situations where you feel like nothing is making sense anymore,  believe that something good will come out of it. God does not waste time. His timing might be a little different from ours, but have faith that all will be good, everything will be all right. BUT, bear in mind that we have to get up and move on. Never stay in that rut for a long time. If you can't pick yourself up, then ask for help. Just be sure to never let anything stop you from moving forward. Treasure every moment because there is a lesson hidden beneath.

 "The greatest gifts we can give ourselves: acceptance, forgiveness, belief, and love." -neri.anne.j.stioch

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